Cleaning anything involves making something else dirty, but anything can get dirty without something else getting clean. — Lawrence J. Peter
I’m not a big fan of awards shows. Actually, I hate them. I just don’t get why we should watch these phoneys scurry around in tuxedos and gowns and patting themselves on the back for play-acting, and when their not kissing their own asses they are kissing someone else’s, and the winners–oh my god the winners–pontificating and proselytising and crying–then they go off to parties and roil in the adulation of the fans, and ignore the barely concealed jealousy of the losers…
My wife LOVES the award shows. Emmys, Globes, SAGS, Spirit Awards, Grammys, and of course the Oscars. She turns on the television early in the afternoon to watch hours of coverage, and scoots up close to the screen to watch Ryan Seacrest push his microphone into someone’s face and ask “what are you wearing?”
A few years ago I was grousing and making fun of Seacrest and my wife said, pointedly, “get out of the living room.” So I left. I walked around for a while and ended up in the garage, and after standing around for a few minutes, I realized that the garage was filthy. The cement was grease-stained, tools were lying around, and there were toys and old bikes strewn around, and the windows were filthy. So I decided to clean.
It took me a couple of hours, but I got that garage clean as a hospital room, and you know what? I felt good. I went in to tell my wife, but she ignored me because Meryl Streep was about to accept her fortieth Oscar, and all she said was, “go take a shower”.
The next year, during each stupid award show, I cleaned another room.
Now, I don’t necessarily agree that cleanliness is next to Godliness–I think a good orgasm is next to Godliness, but cleanliness is close, and it is a sign of maturity, responsibility, and self-discipline. We don’t control much in this world, but we can control the space we occupy, and we should do so with great care.
TASK:
You are going to clean a room this week. My advice: start with the bathroom. But if you don’t have the stomach for it, start with the kitchen.
And I don’t mean “once over lightly”. I mean you’re going to clean like you’re getting paid for it. You’re going to attack with vigor–as though every speck of dirt, every invisible microbe is your personal enemy.
Get yourself some soap, water, rags, all-purpose liquid cleaning solution (I like it lemon-flavored), some glass cleaner, toilet bowl cleanser, etc.
Let’s say that you’re man enough to take on the bathroom. You always start at the top, so do the mirrors, the walls, then the shower/tub, then the toilet and the sink. Clean out the cabinets and go after the window. Wipe down the baseboards, then do the floor. Broom it, Swiffer it, mop it. Do it.
Be humble about it. Be thorough. And when you’re done, revel in it. Write about your triumph.
RSVP for Mental Wellness Calls
—
![]()
Join the Mental Wellness FACEBOOK GROUP here.
—
Talk to you soon.
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all-access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class, and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group, and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
***
Want to contribute to The Good Men Project? Submit here:
—
Photo courtesy of the author
The post Clean Break appeared first on The Good Men Project.